Thursday, July 14, 2011
TEST
This is only a test. If my blog autofeed is indeed messing with me, then you will be reading this on facebook too. If you're not, then I have no idea what the problem is and I'm screwed. On second thought, I will just blame this all on facebook since they're famous for their little glitches anyway! Google+ for the win! ;o) Yt
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Mea Culpa
Dear Jill (not her real name of course),
Our mutual friend set us up, we met her and her beau for a double date at the local bowling alley. I liked you at first, you had a nice handshake, trusting eyes, a sweet smile and a very nice can. Your boobs were nothing to write home about, but even if they were, I don't think my mom would have appreciated such a letter.
Being an old fashioned sort of guy, I took care of the expenses, shoe rental, lane fees, even bought you a beer and some food then spent the next hour cursing my maker as you talked my Goddamned ear off about the most random nonsense I've ever been subjected to in my life. I especially loved how whenever it was my turn to bowl you spoke even louder, almost to the point of shouting so as to be heard over the din of the alley. You know, because it was important that I not miss out on your views about how hi-top sneakers help prevent cankles.
However, even though I didn't get so much as a handy-J out of you at the end of the evening, I probably should have called you sometime like I said I would. A fact that was explained to me days later (in some very colorful language) by our mutual friend who, it so happens, is no longer my friend as a result of our failed encounter.
So to you Jill (still not her real name) and to our mutual friend, I officially apologize for being an assjack.
There, now I can get into Heaven.
Our mutual friend set us up, we met her and her beau for a double date at the local bowling alley. I liked you at first, you had a nice handshake, trusting eyes, a sweet smile and a very nice can. Your boobs were nothing to write home about, but even if they were, I don't think my mom would have appreciated such a letter.
Being an old fashioned sort of guy, I took care of the expenses, shoe rental, lane fees, even bought you a beer and some food then spent the next hour cursing my maker as you talked my Goddamned ear off about the most random nonsense I've ever been subjected to in my life. I especially loved how whenever it was my turn to bowl you spoke even louder, almost to the point of shouting so as to be heard over the din of the alley. You know, because it was important that I not miss out on your views about how hi-top sneakers help prevent cankles.
However, even though I didn't get so much as a handy-J out of you at the end of the evening, I probably should have called you sometime like I said I would. A fact that was explained to me days later (in some very colorful language) by our mutual friend who, it so happens, is no longer my friend as a result of our failed encounter.
So to you Jill (still not her real name) and to our mutual friend, I officially apologize for being an assjack.
There, now I can get into Heaven.
Monday, July 4, 2011
Friends,
While a bad relationship can produce assjack stories galore, they’re not the only stories out there to be told. Bad bosses, thoughtless co-workers, idiot landlords and clueless neighbors all fit nicely into the definition of an assjack. (Or at least they would if Merriam-Webster would return our calls.)
Assjackery can even come from within your own family or circle of friends. (Yeah, assjackery. Used it in a sentence, so it’s a word now.) Your dad, baby sister, big brother, your (former) BFF or your touchy-feely Uncle Pete, all of them could exhibit behavior that puts them under the assjack umbrella too. Well not Uncle Pete, he’s a whole different story that probably shouldn’t be told here.
The point is (and yes there is one) relationship assjack tales are good, our bread and butter, why we started all this. But we’re now opening up the door to stories of assjackery from all walks of life. Only one caveat to the whole thing, let’s not get into stories about the guy that stole your parking spot or the chick with thirty items in the twelve-items-or-less aisle. Momentary nuisances like that are examples of an asshat, a close cousin of the assjack, and annoying though they may be, not really worth wasting pixels on.
All right people, the floor is open, unburden yourselves and share.
While a bad relationship can produce assjack stories galore, they’re not the only stories out there to be told. Bad bosses, thoughtless co-workers, idiot landlords and clueless neighbors all fit nicely into the definition of an assjack. (Or at least they would if Merriam-Webster would return our calls.)
Assjackery can even come from within your own family or circle of friends. (Yeah, assjackery. Used it in a sentence, so it’s a word now.) Your dad, baby sister, big brother, your (former) BFF or your touchy-feely Uncle Pete, all of them could exhibit behavior that puts them under the assjack umbrella too. Well not Uncle Pete, he’s a whole different story that probably shouldn’t be told here.
The point is (and yes there is one) relationship assjack tales are good, our bread and butter, why we started all this. But we’re now opening up the door to stories of assjackery from all walks of life. Only one caveat to the whole thing, let’s not get into stories about the guy that stole your parking spot or the chick with thirty items in the twelve-items-or-less aisle. Momentary nuisances like that are examples of an asshat, a close cousin of the assjack, and annoying though they may be, not really worth wasting pixels on.
All right people, the floor is open, unburden yourselves and share.
Sunday, July 3, 2011
Online Dating
Have you ever tried? Doing it now? Know of any success stories? Tell us your success or horror stories. Did you meet him or her and they were totally not like their picture? We want to know! :)
Friday, July 1, 2011
How do you know if a Guy or Girl is into you?
Tell us some of your funny stories of how a guy or girl flirted or came onto you!
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